Dear Abby: His trucking mother treats our home like a hotel


DEAR ABBY: My widowed mother-in-law, “Minnie,” works full time as a trucker, traveling around the U.S. She doesn’t have a home of her own since she lives on the road.

Jeanne Phillips

My husband and I live in a small one-bedroom apartment. When she’s here for holidays or family functions, she always sleeps on our couch.

At first I didn’t mind once or twice for holidays, but since my niece was born, Minnie wants to be home more to visit with her. My husband’s brother has a large home and plenty of space, but Minnie never stays there because she doesn’t like my sister-in-law. Minnie is also irresponsible about letting us know when she’s coming and how long she will be staying. One night can turn into a week.

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I have had many conversations and some blowout fights with my husband over this issue. He’s the older brother and feels guilty about asking her to stay at a hotel. My sister-in-law doesn’t help the situation. She sabotages holidays and events to ensure Minnie won’t feel comfortable staying there. I don’t know how I will manage to get through the holidays this year. Help!

DREADING IT IN THE EAST

DEAR DREADING: Blowout fights with your husband are detrimental to your marriage. Because he appears to be unable to summon the backbone to have an honest conversation with his mother, I guess it’s up to you.

Explain to Minnie that the current arrangement isn’t working. Tell her twice-a-year visits for holidays and family functions were manageable, but in the future, if she’s unwilling to stay in her younger son’s home, she should arrange to stay at a hotel or motel for those “extra” visits.

DEAR ABBY: Some of my extended family members have become vegan. When they come to my home, I make sure to have appropriate food for them, in addition to nonvegan food for others. When I am invited to their homes for a celebration, they offer only vegan selections. No one is allowed to bring nonvegan or meat-based dishes to their home.

It has reached the point that I no longer want to go there when a meal is involved. I have tried talking to them about this, but their reply is, “No meat …read more

Source:: The Mercury News – Lifestyle

      

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