Dear Abby: Our mom left a note, and I don’t want to show it to my sister

DEAR ABBY: My mother is 88 and in a nursing home. While cleaning out her apartment, I found her will. With it there was a handwritten note stating that my son should get my mother’s diamond ring.

Jeanne Phillips

The ring is unique and special. The note specifically said that my sister’s kids should not get the ring because they didn’t act like they loved her, while my son did. The note instructed my son to give the ring to his wife.

I have not shown the note to my sister because I know she will be upset.

I want to give the ring to my son. I know my sister will see the ring on my daughter-in-law’s finger and know it was my mom’s. My sister will wonder how she got the ring. What should I do?


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DEAR HURT: Do not approach your sister with this information until you have spoken to an attorney. Show him or her the will you found in your mother’s apartment and the note that was with it.

If your mom is able, have the ring details added to the will. In order to avoid any misunderstandings and a possible rift in the family, your sister should be given a copy of both. After that, take your lead from the attorney.

DEAR ABBY: I was sexually abused by a sibling for 10 years during my childhood. I never told anyone what happened to me until I confided in my fiance after we were engaged. I have gone through counseling sessions and am at a place in my life where I am happy and healthy.

Currently, I have a relationship with my parents, but not with my sibling. My parents often express their wish for me to have a relationship with my sibling, but I always refuse.

I feel that telling them what happened at this point would only cause hurt for them. But I also feel that if I tell them, I can stop getting asked uncomfortable questions. What do you suggest?


DEAR SURVIVOR: I suggest you tell your parents everything. It’s something you should have done years ago. Do not worry about hurting them. Once they have all the facts, they will understand why you want nothing to do with your sibling and stop pushing you to have …read more

Source:: The Mercury News – Lifestyle


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