John Legend: Dads are not babysitting their kids, they’re parenting


John Legend and Chrissy Teigen are parents to Luna, three, and Miles, one. Both John and Chrissy created, produced and are nurturing two children together. Duh, right? We knew that. But as John discussed to Romper magazine, the fact that the father is the other parent is often forgotten. And he’s not whining about being forgotten, John said society has such a low bar for a father’s involvement that it puts all the weight and blame on the mother. John would like to see some changes, starting with people acknowledging a father watching his kids is parenting, not babysitting.

On his first date with Chrissy after Luna was born…

“People were shaming Chrissy for leaving the house, and didn’t say anything bad to me… Look, we’re both parents and we’re both going out. If you think that’s not appropriate — and first of all, you shouldn’t think that’s not appropriate — if you’re going to blame somebody, blame both of us, not just the mother.”

On the lack of changing tables in men’s bathrooms…

“It’s kind of assumed dads won’t change diapers, so facilities are built in a way that bakes that assumption in. And [that] then perpetuates the fact that dads won’t change diapers because they don’t even have a place to do it.”

On parenting two kids…

“I feel like we tag-team or we split, especially when Miles was first born and when it came to breastfeeding and having that be a regular part of the ritual with him…Chrissy had to tend to him more than I could, so I took it upon myself to be really make sure Luna was good. So we kind of split off that way… This is our job, together. We’re both parents and we make it work.”

On the historically low standards for dads…

“All the times when we’ve lowered the bar and have said dad is babysitting when he’s taking care of his own kids — no he’s not, he’s just parenting.”

[From Romper]

John isn’t saying anything new. But I appreciate that he is making his point to everyone. Dads can’t think of themselves as babysitting, but other people can’t think of dads as babysitting either. It might sound silly to get caught up on the semantics of a phrase, but philosophy starts with language. I remember actually asking my husband a few times, “can you babysit tonight?” I didn’t really think about it, I don’t know if I was I being ironic or just throwing out a funny way to cover the childcare. But I distinctly remember feeling like I owed him time off if I slipped out to a movie or some other-out-of-the-house activity. He never suggested anything remotely like that but I still felt it.

This isn’t the first time John has spoken about mom-shaming. The incident he is referring too happened very soon after the birth of Luna and John addressed it at the time as well. Remember that Chrissy was suffering from postpartum when she was attacked for having dinner …read more

Source:: Cele|bitchy


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