Ask Amy: Am I Bridezilla if I ban my fiance’s friend from our wedding?

Dear Amy: My fiance wants to invite “James,” his old college buddy, to our wedding.

Columnist Amy Dickinson (Bill Hogan/Chicago Tribune) 

James and I had a silly drunken fling prior to my relationship with my fiance. He knows about this and we have come to terms with it. Still, I regret my fling with James.

What’s more, I think he is a mean-spirited meddler. Years ago, he referred to me as “sloppy seconds” to my fiance.

Is it unreasonable for me to say that he can’t come to the wedding?

I don’t want to act like a Bridezilla.

Hopeful

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Dear Hopeful: You and your fiance each have the right to invite people from your individual list to your wedding. As obnoxious as “James” might be, my own perspective is that you simply not liking someone on your fiance’s list does not justify eliminating him altogether. However, that “sloppy seconds” comment does put James in the invitation “red zone.”

You and your fiance should talk about this. Why does he want to include James? Why don’t you? Would James’ presence at your wedding and reception ruin it for you? Would his absence from the wedding ruin it in some way for your fiance?

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Having a point of view about who attends your wedding does not make you a “Bridezilla.” (Let’s reserve that term for brides who throw tantrums over trivial matters.)

If you sincerely conclude that you must eliminate James from your fiance’s list, perhaps there is someone on your list that your fiance would also like to veto.

Dear Amy: Recently I was alarmed to see on Facebook that a few friends had attended a huge gathering where people were not following COVID safety guidelines.

I have been meeting with friends (only outside) this summer, but as the weather cools, I am wondering if it will be safe to have a few people over for, say, a game night.

Is there any polite way to ask potential invitees if they have been in any large, unmasked groups recently?

Or should I just give up on a social life until a vaccine is available?

Careful in Colorado

Dear Careful: It is wisest to stay up to date regarding CDC and your state and local guidelines, which frequently change.

Your question, however, is about how to …read more

Source:: The Mercury News – Entertainment

      

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