Dear Amy: My brother and I are both in our young 20s and are still living at home. I am getting my Master’s degree and my brother has recently decided that he would like to study for the LSAT and attend law school.
He has never much liked school, nor spent much time studying, but he has decided that he will start writing practice exams and then do the LSAT.
My mother and I are supportive; we want to encourage him to continue his education. Working toward a goal, choosing his career path, all of this is awesome.
However, I am annoyed by his study habits. He demands absolute silence.
He studies on the main floor (next to the kitchen) in the late afternoon and into the evening.
If me or my mother are at all “disruptive” (by talking to each other while preparing the family dinner, or even simply preparing dinner too loudly) he will berate us — yelling and cursing.
I have argued that this isn’t a fair time or location (he could choose to do these practice exams during the day when no one is home, or study in his bedroom), but these suggestions have resulted in more shouting.
What should we do?
Dear Chatty: I’m trying to imagine the sense of entitlement that gives a young man license to silence his own mother, while she is busy preparing his supper.
Wow, he’ll make partner at a law firm someday.
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And I have to ask: What kind of household is your mother running?
At this juncture, she doesn’t seem to be running her household at all. Your brother is squarely in charge.
Your mother’s response to his demands for silence should be: “Go to your room. Go to the library. Wear headphones. If you want to spend time around us, you’ll have to be civil. And if you don’t like living at home, there’s the door.”
It sounds as if your brother isn’t working outside the home. Ideally, he should approach his studying like a 9-to-5 job, leaving time for conversation, exercise, good nutrition and good sleep.
Dear Amy: Help! There has been a big rift in my family since the 2016 election. My cousin is quite right wing and has been particularly rude and insulting (to the point of unfriending on social media). We don’t associate socially anymore.
I, too, feel very strongly about politics and will challenge comments I know are not based in fact.
Now there is a wedding coming up and everyone is invited.
My stomach clenches at …read more
Source:: The Denver Post – Lifestyle