Ask Amy: I’m usually very discreet, but I think my friend should hear this secret

Dear Amy: My wife and I have two friends who have been married for almost three decades. I’ll call them “Fred and Ethel.”

Amy Dickinson 

Anyone married for a long time understands that every relationship has ups and downs — and more downs, sometimes. We realize that we cannot know what really goes on privately in anyone else’s relationship.

Our friends recently decided to end their marriage and part ways. While this is very sad for them (and us), of course we accept their decision and don’t want to interfere.

Well, Fred recently confided in me that he regrets the path he and his ex-wife took toward separation and divorce. He sincerely believes that he and Ethel could work things out.

At the same time, Ethel has confided in my wife that she also wishes they had not given up on their marriage.

One key to our ongoing healthy friendship is that we are extremely discreet. My wife and I are torn about divulging these confidences, but wonder if we should, now.

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What do you think?

Ricky and Lucy

Dear Ricky: Before breaking a confidence, you and your wife should each encourage your friends privately to be brave enough to communicate directly with each other.

  Harriette Cole: I’m displeased by how my girlfriend dresses on the job

If they lose their nerve, then yes, I would provide a nudge: “Ethel told Joan that she regrets breaking up, too. Dude, get on it.”

What happens next should be entirely up to them.

Dear Amy: My oldest daughter (age 26) is engaged to be “married.” After postponing the “wedding” due to COVID, they have picked a new date.

In a casual conversation with my other daughter (age 24), I learned that the prospective bride and groom do not actually plan on getting legally married. They have found someone who has agreed to officiate, but no marriage license will be obtained.

My husband and I met with our daughter. She was vague about her reasons and became defensive, leaving us feeling that this is not her idea, but rather his.

He is quite wealthy for someone his age and makes his money through online gambling.

We encouraged her to think about beneficiary issues, Social Security standing and next-of-kin issues, among other considerations.

After over …read more

Source:: The Mercury News – Entertainment

      

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