Ask Amy: Should I cut ties to my insulting ex-colleague?

Dear Amy: I am very concerned about a former co-worker.

Amy Dickinson 

I met “Gerry” two years ago when we were on the same project team. She was a funny person and has been very open about her mental health struggles.

After the project ended, we went our separate ways but continued to follow each other on Instagram.

When the pandemic hit, Gerry would discuss how tough the lockdowns were, and we would share different recipes, etc.

Now with the rise of the omicron variant, I believe that she has completely spiraled into a dark rabbit hole.

On Instagram, she would constantly post photos and link the usernames of local politicians, calling them Nazis because of restrictions.

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I reached out to Gerry to see if she needed someone to talk to, but I just got chewed out and called a “privileged b***h.” Additionally, there was an onslaught of insults aimed at my family that I won’t repeat here.

It has been a few weeks since then, and I have stopped following her Instagram account. However, a mutual friend mentioned to me that Gerry’s posts are getting worse — so much worse that she was written up at work for a particularly bad one.

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I am not sure if I should reach out again and offer her a friendly shoulder to cry on, or if I should cut my losses and let her sit in the mess she is creating for herself.

Your advice?


Dear Torn: I think you should reach out, one more time, in a neutral and benign way — along the lines of: “Hi, I’m checking in. I’ve been wondering how you’re doing lately.”

If she responds with a toxic multidirectional rant, you could reply, “I realize this is tough; I’m sorry.”

If she responds with a personal attack on you, you should not respond, back away, and be done with your personal involvement.

If a mutual acquaintance reaches out with concerns about her, you might suggest that the person reach out directly to Gerry, instead of involving you.

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Source:: The Mercury News – Entertainment


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