Dear Abby: I tried to make my sick friend feel better, and it backfired

DEAR ABBY: A close friend of mine hadn’t been feeling well. After seeing her doctor for a full day of tests she met up with me, and I listened to her concerns.

Jeanne Phillips 

Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, “God, I hope you don’t have cancer!”

She became very upset because of my comment and made me feel guilty for even mentioning it. While I meant my remark to be more caring than callous, it backfired.

With cancer so prevalent in today’s society, when is it OK to talk about it? Is it something we tiptoe around and discuss only after a full diagnosis?

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I regret my words, and need to know how I can become a more caring, supportive friend.

OOPS, IN FLORIDA

DEAR OOPS: Cancer, like other illnesses that can be fatal, should be discussed when and if the person has the diagnosis, reveals it and feels the need to discuss it.

DEAR ABBY: I broke up with my boyfriend a few months ago, but I’m still having a difficult time getting over him.

I discovered he was responding to sexual messages from men and sending them pictures of himself, including his body parts.

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I feel this is the biggest betrayal any woman could experience, and keeping the truth from our mutual friends has been difficult. When people ask me what caused the breakup, I have to deny the truth and tell them we just grew apart.

Now I wonder if he ever loved me or was he just using me because I was the breadwinner while he stayed home. I keep wondering if all those times he claimed to be at the gym was he really there? Please help me.

BROKEN DIGNITY IN CALIFORNIA

 

DEAR BROKEN: That your boyfriend wasn’t honest about the fact that he was bisexual and unfaithful was, indeed, a betrayal. I also agree that all those times he claimed to be “at the gym” he was likely with “Jim.” That you supported him financially while he involved himself with others — regardless of their gender — was another betrayal.

You should be on your knees thanking your higher power you learned what was going on before you wasted more time (or money) on him. Quit covering …read more

Source:: The Mercury News – Entertainment

      

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