Harriette Cole: I wish this gorgeous woman weren’t always at my boyfriend’s house

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend has a roommate with a stunningly gorgeous girlfriend who is always at the house. She’s even at the house when her boyfriend isn’t there.

Harriette Cole 

I’m afraid to admit that this makes me uneasy. She and my boyfriend are very friendly with each other, and I wish she would go over only when her boyfriend is there.

What can I do?

Uneasy

DEAR UNEASY: What an awkward position to be in. You have no control, nor does your boyfriend for the most part. And he is in a vulnerable position.

Now, the truth of the matter is that this woman’s beauty should not be a reason to prompt infidelity. However, her constant presence could prove to be unnerving.

Do you have any reason to believe that your boyfriend is romantically interested in this woman? If not, don’t plant the idea in his head.

You can ask why she is in the house when her boyfriend is not. This is a classic challenge for roommates — figuring out boundaries of when friends, including boyfriends and girlfriends, can be in the house when you are not. Your boyfriend can legitimately address that with his roommate.

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Tread lightly. Resist being jealous or intimidated by this woman. She is a person, just like you. Don’t put her on a pedestal.

Encourage your boyfriend to establish ground rules at his apartment that address guests, housekeeping duties, etc. so that he and his roommate agree on how they will live there. Do not nag about her. Assume the positive until proven otherwise.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I let my daughter’s best friend live with us for her final semester of college. The agreement was that she would stay and pay $300 a month to rent out our upstairs guest room until she graduated. After graduation, the plan was for her to move back to the West Coast with her family.

It’s now been a month since graduation, and she is not taking any major steps to move out.

It’s been a pleasure having her here, but she is done with school, and even my own daughter has moved out, so …read more

Source:: The Mercury News – Entertainment

      

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