Harriette Cole: My fiance hates his job, but I’ll be living well if he keeps it

DEAR HARRIETTE: My fiance hates working for the Navy, but him staying enlisted is the quickest way for us to become financially stable. We will get so many benefits just for being married.

Harriette Cole 

He told me that if he stays, he will be doing it for us. I don’t want him to be miserable at his job, but I’ll be living pretty well if he stays.

Should I encourage him to leave after his contract is over, or would it be smarter if he stays?

Marrying Navy Technician

DEAR MARRYING NAVY TECHNICIAN: I recommend encouraging your fiance to develop his skills while in the Navy so that he masters his field. In this way, when he looks for a job in the civilian world, he will be prepared for the highest level of work and pay possible.

He should research specific careers and their salaries. You can help by researching jobs in the city where you two would like to live.

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Instead of pressuring him to stay long-term in a job he hates, lead him toward the goal of transitioning out of the Navy with all the skills he can possibly master.

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You never want to push your fiance toward misery. That will not lead you to a happy life. Patience, however, may require that he stay in his role for a while longer. Keep your eyes on the goal of his post-Navy career. That will help him to stay positive during the preparation period.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister is extremely competitive. I’ve never encouraged it, but she has always seen me as competition. It’s getting old.

I want to have a better relationship with her without always feeling like she’s trying to one-up me.

In order to start working on the relationship, I know that we have to have an uncomfortable conversation where I address her competitiveness. How do I start this sort of dialogue without offending her?

Competitive Sister

DEAR COMPETITIVE SISTER: You need to be direct and clear with your sister. Tell her what type of relationship you want with her and what you believe is standing in the way.

Call it what it is: competitiveness. Admit that you know this is part of her nature. Ask her to focus her …read more

Source:: The Mercury News – Entertainment


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