Miss Manners: I’m 13 and in a wheelchair, and I don’t want to tell them why

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m 13 and I’m in a wheelchair. It’s been three years. How do I get people to stop asking what happened to me?

I’m very happy — I’m active with friends and involved with a lot of activities — but it’s painful to talk about, and I don’t want to anymore.

GENTLE READER: Here is a secret that will serve you in many situations: You don’t always have to match your answer to a nosy question.

In this case, you should reply, “I’m fine, thank you; how are you?” If the questioner persists, repeat that you are fine, but ask in a concerned voice, “But are you all right?”

Just please promise Miss Manners that you will not apply this trick to your schoolwork.

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Miss Manners: It’s offensive how my friend is using my gift

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I donated to a fundraiser through a friend who volunteered at the organization. She sent me a monetary thank-you, saying to go have lunch on her.

It left me feeling awkward — almost like getting money back on what I donated. Is that an appropriate way to express gratitude? It felt weird, and it made me feel like I should not accept that cash. What should I do?

GENTLE READER: It is weird. In that context, it looks something like a kickback, although Miss Manners hopes that your friend was merely succumbing to the crass idea that payments are always welcome.

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You must thank her, of course. But you might enclose the money, saying you would like to make an additional donation to the charity.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: While we did not attend the wedding of our dear friends’ grandson (whom they helped raise) due to our COVID guidelines, we did send a very nice present from their wedding website. We also mailed them a very nice card, separate from the gift, that was delivered to them well before the wedding.

The thank-you just arrived, and the couple only thanked us for our good wishes. I went back to the wedding site and verified that the gift was received (as was our name and address given to the recipients,) but somehow the bride and groom forgot that we gave them the gift.

I am not concerned that they don’t know that their new set of knives, which they use every day, is from us. But …read more

Source:: The Mercury News – Entertainment


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