‘Hard Knocks’ recap: Of edgy coaches and ‘circumcised’ feet


“Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.”

That was the reaction many of you had to last week’s premiere of “Hard Knocks: Training Camp With the Oakland Raiders” on HBO. Apparently, all those Napa travelogue segments of hot-air ballooning and horseback riding through the sun-dappled vineyards amounted to one big snore-fest. You wanted action. You wanted drama.

Instead, you got Derek Carr’s oiled-up arms.

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Of course, we should have expected some of that. The “Hard Knocks” opener always tends to be a scene-setter of sorts and taps into the cheery good vibes that usually greet the start of an NFL training camp. Hence, we get get more Disney than Tarantino.

But now the Rams are in town and Antonio Brown is entangled in Helmetgate and cryotherapy woes, and Jon Gruden is much more on edge. So, as the coach barks at his players, “It’s time for us to raise the bar!”

Oh, did we mention Gruden is on edge? Yeah, he’s snarling and spitting and growling about pretty much everything in Week 2. Turns out that he’s very needy. He wants “better f—ing execution” from his team. He wants the defensive players to lay off Carr (“Protect the merchandise, man!”). He wants to abolish turnovers and penalties forever and ever. And he wants to see more fire and fury out of introverted QB Nathan Peterman.

“Be a little bit more like me,” he tells the backup. “Be a little more of a jerk. There’s gotta be something in there that pisses you off.”

Yes, we all knew that Gruden would be great television and, oh man, he’s living up to the hype. Maybe he’d make a good color commentator when his coaching days are over. Someone alert ESPN.

As for our other would-be star, Antonio Brown has put in more time in front of the cameras than on the field. But at least he gives “Hard Knocks” an exclusive. Yes, he removes his socks and lets us have an up-close-and-personal look at his much talked-about feet.

And hoo-boy, are they gnarly! Are those blisters or huge freakin’ barnacles? Yuck! (Let’s hope the audience has already finished dinner). Someone call Dr. Scholl!! This is the most vile thing we’ve seen on HBO since the “Game of Thrones” finale.

And then AB delivers the line of the night:

“My feet is pretty much circumcised.”

Yes, he actually said that. Oh, lord, is this season gonna …read more

Source:: The Mercury News – Sports

      

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