Harriette Cole: She told me on the phone that she loves me but she won’t let me see her

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently started talking to an old flame. She really does it for me, but she has rejected my advances up until a few days ago.

Harriette Cole 

We spoke on the phone for hours about everything going on in each other’s lives. We ended the conversation professing our love for each other.

The next day, I asked to see her in person, and she said she was not ready to see me. This really confuses me because she professed her love for me. What does this mean?

Feeling Ghosted

DEAR FEELING GHOSTED: Slow down. You cannot force this woman to jump all the way back in with you.

Think back on the conversation you had. What did she tell you about her recent romantic history? What might be making her skittish right now?

Reflect back on your own history together. Why did you break up? Why do you think you still love her? What are you hoping will come of this rekindled romance?

If you think there is a real chance for something special to emerge from this old bond, give it time. Don’t push. Be patient and present. You cannot force her to come to you. You can let her know that you are ready and waiting.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m dealing with extreme anxiety. So many things trigger me into thinking the worst.

I doubt myself and my abilities whenever I make a mistake in any area of my life. If I miss my kids’ games, I feel like the worst parent in the world, and if I miss a work deadline, I feel like I’ll surely be fired soon.

How can I get a grip on my emotions and stop my mind from spiraling out of control about everything?

Worried Worrier

DEAR WORRIED WORRIER: Slow down and take three deep breaths. Invite yourself to be calm. Breathe quietly, and just be still. Tell yourself that everything is going to be all right. Sit for a few minutes until you feel the tension leaving your body. Start your day with stillness, even if it means you have to get up a bit earlier to do so.

Make a plan. If you are consistently missing deadlines or activities, one …read more

Source:: The Mercury News – Entertainment


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